left unsaid

How can I not love you?
I can get into your nerves most of the time,
But still you want to hold me tight.

How can I not love you?
I know I made you cry,
Yet you still want to hold my hands.

How can I not love you?
When everything doesn’t feel right,
Still you make me feel that everything is in place.

How can I not love you?
Whenever I show up late in our dates,
Yet you still greet me with a smile.

How can I not love you?
Whenever I think that things aren’t working out,
You give me reasons to stay.

How can I not love you?
When you’re on the point of giving up on me,
But you never want to let me go.

How can I not love you?
When all I want to do now is love you,
Forever and ever and ever and ever.

quote yan sa one more chance.. la lang..

wala siya konek sa blog entry na ito..

tagal tagal ko na rin pala hindi nagba-blog…

so… kamusta ako?? hmmm.. keri lang..

ngayon ko lang naramdaman na mahirap pala ENGINEERING.. *sob..

hehe.. grabe talaga.. apat na majors.. sabay2 ang mga exam.. dami requirements.. argh!!

pero masaya ako.. sakto lang.. kasi kahit nahihirapan ako.. lam kong worth it din ito balang araw…

GO GO GO ENGINEER LOPEZ! :))

i don’t know how to start this blog entry..

i’ve been thinking about you lately.. i’ve been thinking what could be the possible reason why am i feeling this way for you.. for the past few days, i’ve been wondering if what we have is still worth it.. i’m on the verge of giving up on you.. because i always thought that it’s not going to work out.. but when i got the chance to pour out all my thoughts about this, you gave me a reason not to let go…  when i looked into your eyes yesterday, i realized how much you value me.. you speak less but you made me feel that i am loved by you… you always have the courage to hold on to this and that what’s make me love you more.. you never give up on me even though i’m not perfect… thank you for loving me in a way i never imagined it to be…

i never thought it would be such a wonderful thing to have…AGAIN. At first i was so hesitant, more of evasive about it.. i tried to get the thought of it off my mind.. the thought that i might still be inlove with the guy that i had to forget. the things in the past just brought so much pain and yet i still find myself loving the same person i loved 4 years ago..

..so i took my own risks..  it was hard at first.. the trust was broken.. my whole being was shattered yet my heart still beats for that person.. there was nothing left to give but love.. it was a 4-month process… i try to forget all the things i did to him and the things he failed to do… IT’S HARD BUT WE BOTH HELD ON.. WE HELPED EACH OTHER FORGET THE BAD MEMORIES AND JUST KEPT THE GOOD ONES… and then it all paid off eventually.

Now everyday seemed like a perfect day knowing that i could be this happy again with someone i never thought i love this much.. he’s my new found joy  yet my old, well-kept treasure… he is my first love and it feels good to know that he’s the last.. we may have caused so much turmoil in each other’s young hearts but time has healed all the wounds.. we may have part ways before but it was that “true love” that brought us back together.. Perhaps it was destiny that made this happen.. i thought it was only a dream but now i’m wide awake and he still a part of me and forever wil be.. My soul is filled with joy and it made me view things through rose-tinted glasses.. oh yes i’m in love.. a love that is way deep than the deepest ocean in the world.. a love that is stronger that can move mountains.. it’s different this time.. WE’RE STRONGER THIS TIME..

so it made me came to realize that what happened before is A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.. it made us strong and now nothing seems to break us apart again.. it only proves that LOVE exists even in the most hurtful times..

those three words are not enough to express how i value this angel.. it’s more than that.. there’s more to what i feel.. =’)

i’m a hopeless romantic.. i believe in soulmates.. ever since i was a kid, i believe that one day i will meet my very own prince charming whom i will spend the rest of my life with…i’ve always thought that i could be those in fairy tales where i’m the princess and my prince will just come and find me and we’ll live happily ever after..

but as i woke up today, something snapped me back to reality..

i realized that i never want to be a princess anymore… i just want to be a normal person.. someone who doesn’t dwell much on things that seemed to be perfect.. because the truth is, REALITY will always be the opposite of what we wanted..

perhaps i’m just dumbfounded by the twists of my own love story… i guess that the turn of events can be so overwhelming… that i just don’t realize that things just have their own normal processes. so it’s always best not to rush things..

i’m not having regrets. i guess i just needed more time.. (much more time..)

I STILL BELIEVE IN DESTINY, but i don’t expect for a perfect love story anymore..

may aaminin ako.. ADIK AKO SA FACEBOOK! hehe… lalo na sa mga quizzes dun.. merong quiz dun na talagang nag-enjoy akong sagutan at di rin ako maka-recover sa naging result..

eto yung quiz..

at syempre….

yung first love ko.. love ko pa din ngayon..♥♥

this is one of those blog entries that took a lot of strength for me to compose…

once you found yourself truly and devotedly in love with someone, things start to change.. you’re happier and everything you see seemed to be viewed through rose-tinted glasses.. everything felt like a fairy tale.. everything felt magic..

perhaps, it’s on how the way they stare that makes you feel like melting..

or the way they touch your hands that makes you feel invincible..

and then slowly, without you knowing, you’re starting to get dependent on it.. like a drug.. you just keep on wanting more… it’s an addiction. it’s like a part of a routine.. once broken, it won’t be the same as it was..

but love can also give the worst pain.. the pain that feels like you’re slowly dying everyday.. a never ending pain.. the pain that makes you want to jump off a tall building for it’s an intolerable, unbearable and heart-ripping pain..

LOVE is like a traitor.. it just gets inside you.. you can’t control it.. even if he/she is the worst person in the world, you can’t do anything but to just love that person more than anything else..

Love can be a disease, even worse than Cancer.. it’s fatal.. it’s makes you MAD.. it makes you do crazy things.. it’s so great.. so powerful and you can get knocked off a lot of times.. it gives the feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck a lot of times yet you want some more..

LOVE HURTS A LOT.. but as they say.. “love entails bearing the pain for someone you love..”

—it’s raining hard here..
it wasn’t easy.. hayz.

unfortunately.. it hurts so bad that i couldn’t walk normally!

okay lang naman talaga ako eh.. dati pa ako nakakaramdam ng ganito pero siyempre, natatakot din ako kahit paano.. biruin mo, nasa SM ako kanina, biglang sumakit.. di ko gaano na-enjoy yung araw ko kasi pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao dahil biglang kakaiba ako maglakad..

di ko naman pinapansin yung sakit eh.. kinabahan lang ako nung patawid ako ng highway.. eh di ako makalakad ng ayos.. grabe talaga..

pagkauwi ko, inaasar ako ng rayuma o kaya cancer. haha!

pero wag naman sana, rayuma, bata ko pa eh.. mas lalo cancer noh? haha!!

tawa lang ako ng tawa ngayon eh.. para akong ewan.. siguro ayoko masyado mag-worry..

kanina, kinapa ni mama yung knee ko, parang may kakaiba nga daw..

hay.. dapat ba akong matakot o sadyang oa lang ako ngayon? di rin. hayz.

ang alamat

hay.. oo. aminin ko na. mahal ko pa rin yung kaklase ko mula nung grade 5 ako.. yung batang nasa may tabi lang ng pintuan nung first day of school namin.. bago lang kasi siya noon.. tanda ko pa, lage siya may dalang face towel at di nga siya kumakain ng lunch.. oo.. para nga siyang loser.. hehe.. never ko siyang naging crush.. nung 1st year HS naman, nagkataong parehas kame ng LUNCH BOX at lage kame napagti-tripan at pinagpapalit yung mga baunan namin.. nagkasama din kame sa paglaro ng SCRABBLE noon. di ko nga siya close pero kinakausap ko naman siya. para lang siyang hangin sa akin noon.. di ko talaga siya napapansin.. pero nung nasa 2nd year HS kame, doon ko nalaman ang meaning ng TRUE LOVE.. oo, true love nga.. di ko akalain na yung batang parang loser lang nung grade 5 kami ay magiging sobrang mahalaga sa akin.. naging kame pero nagkalayo… after 2 years.. nagkita ulit at ayun… sinubukang ibalik ang love.. kaso sadyang malupit ang tadhana at napaglaruan kami.. dami kasi tukso sa paligid.. parehas kami bumitaw.. madami nangyari sa amin.. nagkaroon kami ng ibang mahal.. oo masakit pero sinubukan nga din namin mag-move on sa isa’t-isa.. kala ko nga nalimutan ko na siya… never ko na siyang gusto pang maalala.. kaso makulit ang tadhana.. lage kami pinaglalapit.. isang beses… nakita ko ulit siya.. bumalik nga ata lahat.. sinabe niya na nakaramdam daw siya ng tinatawag na CARDIAC ARREST.. (yun yung term na nagdedescribe sa feeling na ambilis ng tibok ng puso na parang sasabog sa saya at kaba dahil may nakita kang taong marahil ay sobrang naging mahalaga sa’yo..) marahil dun nga nagsimula lahat.. para sigurong parehas namin napagtanto na may isang bagay talagang patuloy na mag-uugnay sa amin.. ilang buwan din ako nalungkot at nag-isip.. ayoko kasi makasakit eh.. pero sabe nga nila.. FOLLOW YOUR HEART♥♥ ayun.. sa ngayon, sinusubukan kong kumuha ng lakas para masabi sa kanya na ready na nga ako.. kaso sa kasamaang palad.. kung kailan nagsisimula nang maging ok ang lahat, nagkaroon kame ng problema.. hayz.. malalaman pa kaya niya ang nararamdaman ko gayong parang lumalayo na parang siya ay sa akin??? (sana guni-guni ko lang yun) madaming beses kong itinatanggi na mahal ko pa siya.. pero oo na! hayz.. alam kong lahat kayang labanan ng pag-ibig pero sa ngayon, nasa “trap” kame ng kaguluhan ng puso at isip.. naiintindihan kong may mga bagay na patuloy pa ring makakasakit sa amin dahil sa bunga ng nakaraan.. dahil ako, alam kong sa sarili ko na may mga bagay siyang nagawa noon na hindi ko pa rin kaya tanggapin hanggang ngayon.. pero umaasa ako sa magandang bukas.. hindi ko man alam ngayon ang sagot.. SOMEDAY.. magiging HAPPY ENDING din itong istorya namin.. at maisusulat ko na ring ang napakahabang nobela namin na nagtatapos sa “and they live happily ever after..”
sana nga.. hayz..

NGAYON KO LANG NILAGAY DITO :)) HEHE!

di na ako bibitaw.

sa lahat ng nangyari, sa lahat ng sakit

sa lahat ng sinasabi nila at sasabihin pa

patuloy na akong magbibingi-bingihan..

para sa isang bagay na alam kong di ko na kaya pakawalan pa..

tama man o mali, di na mahalaga yun sa akin ngayon..

ang alam ko lang.. masaya ako, masaya tayo.. hayaan na natin sila.